Lonely, But No One Can Tell
by 7.06andcounting
Summary: Barratt lives a lie. In 1960s Tulsa, he has no choice. For a little while, Evie helps him out. This is how they met. Side fic to my Evie stories, 'The Only Kind', 'Our Kind' and 'Love Me Two Times'.


**A/N: I don't own anyone from the Outsiders, nor the lyric from 'The Great Pretender' which provided the title. **

**Barratt and his friends are from Brumly, in case that isn't clear. And this is post-Ricky, but pre-Steve.**

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><p><em>December, 1964...<em>

I didn't even want to go to the frigging party, as far as I remember. Some friend of Davey's whose folks were away the weekend, the usual kind of thing. I wasn't in the mood and I knew what would happen. What always happened.

Davey and Red would pick up chicks and I'd be roped in and it would be like all the other evenings, too much booze, not enough air, music I wasn't into and the music would only be the start. But I went. Because if I didn't there would be more questions - and questions were something I was learning to avoid.

Basements suck for parties. I can't stand not being able to see the outside.

Davey was periscope up, right away, saw this blonde chick from across the room.

"Jesus H. Christ. Look at the tits on that," he whistled, as we went down the stairs. And I saw the whole evening pan out in front of me. Like football.

See, football's another thing I don't care for. Baseball, that I like. But I understand how football works, I can watch a game and make all the right comments, keep up with the guys. I don't dig it, like I dig a good baseball game, but I know enough to get by.

Chicks are like football to me. I know what to say and when to say it.

"Nah, she's too heavy. I dig her friend though, nice ass." See, I comment on the chicks, and at the same time, put Davey in the clear to hit up the blonde. He gets pissy if he's cock blocked. Plus, I've said before that big tits ain't my thing, so I'm consistent at least. You have to dig specifics, apparently. Davey's all about the rack, Red likes long hair, and they happily point out the ones with sweet buns for me – that's my deal, far as they're concerned.

Although, Red was already half crocked, he could've spent the evening necking a pillow on the couch and still got off.

Davey ain't subtle, he walked right up to the blonde, asked her to dance. She said yes. They usually do. He's a good looking kid, he has muscles and he cleans up – for parties, at least, so he smells okay. It's a rare night out he don't get lucky. Which is one reason why, as his wing-man, I'm kind of under the microscope. So far, I got round that okay. Most recent, when we all got loaded at the Halloween party, out at Red's place, some girl who was even more trashed than me was easy to use as evidence. She couldn't remember what we did, I just had to undo her blouse while she was out cold in the barn. But that was a while ago and bull sessions need regular topping up.

So, Davey and the blonde were 'dancing', which seemed to involve quite a lot of hands already. I nodded at the friend.

"You okay for a drink?"

She nodded back. I told her my name and she responded.

"Hi, Evie, nice to meet you," I said. "You wanna dance?"

She shrugged. Okay, she wasn't that keen, that would work just fine for me, I thought. I could bitch in the car on the way home about how frigid she was and that would be one more party out the way.

Then she said, "Okay."

We got to dancing, and I don't mind dancing, quite like it, if I'm honest. It's the fact that it's supposed to lead somewhere that I ain't so keen on.

"I didn't want to come here," she said.

"Me neither," I admitted and she smiled. She was cute, real little, short hair, had the whole urchin thing going on.

"My friend thinks I oughta be dating."

I said, "Uh huh?"

"I just finished with this guy...well, he finished it, and y'know, I ain't real bothered to start something new."

Great. A broken heart. I hoped she wasn't going to start bawling on me.

"I ain't looking to date," I told her.

"Good," she said. "'Cause I'm off the whole idea, but Sandy, she thinks I oughta get right back in there."

"Like fallin' off a horse."

She laughed. "Maybe. I ain't never been on a horse, so I'll take your word for it."

That made me laugh. "Are you serious? You never been on a horse? I could get you on one in about five minutes, this place is lousy with 'em."

"Hell, no!...I mean, 'no, thanks'." She looked curious. "You all cowboys round here then?" That's how I found out she was from town, come out to the sticks for the party.

I told her, sure we was cowboys and I had the hat to prove it. She smiled. I liked her, she didn't take nothing too serious, but she was smart all the same.

"So, why ain't you looking to date? You playin' the field?"

I shrugged. "Just not bothered. Kind of bothers my buddy, though." I jerked a thumb at Davey.

"Tell me about it." She rolled her eyes. "Sandy thinks the answer to all my problems is walking around in jeans somewhere..."

And that's when I had the idea.

"Maybe we can do each other a favor then," I said. "You wanna split, let 'em both think they talked us into it?"

She pulled away a little. Kind of nervous. "An' do what? Go where?"

"Anywhere you like," I told her honestly. "Let them think what they want."

"I think maybe I'll just get some air," she said. I followed her upstairs and out into the yard. We smoked and talked and gradually she got less nervous.

Davey and the friend found us.

"There you are!" said the blonde, like she'd caught us getting it on, instead of just sitting. "David says he knows a real pretty lake around here, you wanna come see?"

I laughed a little, firstly at the idea that the lake was 'pretty' and secondly that _David _would appreciate company if he was taking her out that way.

"No. I wanna go home. You should too," Evie said, but the blonde wouldn't be told and Davey had his arm around her as they walked off towards Red's truck.

"I'll drive you, if you like," I offered, adding, "no detours past the lake," as she looked at me real suspicious. She hesitated, but said okay. She said something a bit more expressive when she saw the 'Bird.

"Is this yours?" she eventually asked. I nodded.

"Them horses we was talkin' about? My grandpa gave me one or two an' they sell up real nice, if you get 'em trained."

"An' he don't mind that you sold your horses for a T Bird?" Which was a perceptive thing for her to ask, I thought.

I told her about my grandpa having a stroke and my uncle taking over the ranch and the fact that I had three older brothers, meaning I wasn't needed in the family business.

"Wow. Three big brothers? You the baby then?"

I shook my head and told her about Sally Ann and Lena. She told me she only had one sister and the two of them fought enough for six, so she gave me her sympathy. I laughed. I drove her home and she was fine until we got to her house when she got kind of twitchy and had her hand on the door handle, like she was ready to jump out.

"Nice meetin' you, Evie," I said. She looked at me, suspicious.

"Are you gonna kiss me?" she asked.

"You want me to?" I countered. She shook her head. I shrugged.

"Okay."

She was obviously confused.

"Remember I said I wasn't lookin' to date? I meant it. But, if you wanna see a movie some time, we could do that." I don't know why I trusted her, I just did. "Just as friends. Although, we don't haveta to tell Davey and...?"

"Sandy."

"Yeah. Sandy. We don't haveta to tell them, if'n you don't want."

She smiled suddenly and it looked like a real natural smile. "Okay. How about Friday? Pick me up here at seven?"

We went to the Admiral Twin. They were showing 'Hud' on the second screen. I'd already seen it, and so, it turned out, had Evie. Neither of us minded. After the movie ended, she turned to me and asked, right out, "You gonna tell Davey we did it?"

I was kind of surprised. I said no, I wasn't, because it was only our first 'date'.

"Fair enough. Just wanna get the story straight." She shot me a wicked look. "I'm gonna say you tried."

"Okay."

"I'm gonna say I had to fight you off."

"I'm gonna say you nearly let me."

She giggled and shoved me lightly. "I did not!"

"Second base, at least." I bargained. "I bought you popcorn, sweetie!" That made her laugh fit to bust.

When I dropped her home, she leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. "Thank you for not being a creep," she said, disappearing quickly.

The next time, our 'date' was up at the lake. It was kind of expected, like the rest of it. I'd reported what 'almost happened' at the movies, and Davey and Red lapped up the details, of course.

We went through all the radio stations, arguing good naturedly until we found something we both liked. Two songs later, she turned to me and came right out with it.

"No moves at all?" She didn't sound pissed, she wasn't laughing at me, just curious, I guess. I shrugged.

"Thought neither of us was lookin'."

"Is it Sandy?" I had no idea why she was asking. "You and your friend flip for us and he won?"

I shook my head. "That happen before?"

"Hell, yes. Most guys want, y'know." She held up her hands to approximate a huge rack.

I pointed out that she'd told me she just had a boyfriend. Her face fell.

"He wasn't...um...he was different."

_I bet he wasn't as different as me_, I thought.

She shivered and I gave her my jacket. We got to talking and I discovered she'd never driven.

"Stick?"

"At all."

We switched seats and I showed her the basics, got her shifting up to second before we figured it was time to call it a night. She scooted up to me as I pulled away from the lake.

"We kind of need to look like..."

I nodded and put my arm around her shoulders. Like I said, she was smart. When we spotted a couple of cars, including Red's truck, down by the picnic area on the way out, she reached up and tousled my hair, doing the same to hers.

Red leaned in the window as I drew up next to them all. He offered us a beer, but Evie pouted and whispered in my ear, loud enough that he could hear, that I'd promised her a shake.

"Sure he didn't already give you one, honey?" Red thought he was hilarious. She told him to mind his own business, in a way that let him go on and think what he was thinking.

At her house, she gave me back my jacket and we negotiated what we'd say we'd done. Apparently it made sense to say that she'd had her hands in my underwear, but still kept me out of hers. It don't seem balanced, don't seem fair, the way that guys can expect to get off and chicks are on some other deal. It's more even when the two of you match, I guess.

"Barratt?" She smiled at me. "Thanks for the driving lesson."

The next weekend, we were meeting the others out at the diner on the new highway. Everyone had their own wheels, because we were only eating together. As we got out the car, Davey waved at us from inside, pointing us out to the blonde. I guess we were a little late.

Evie pulled me to her by the arm. "Kiss me here," she said, "then you don't gotta do it inside."

I'm a good way over six feet and she was tiny, so I picked her up and sat her on the hood of the 'Bird, scraping my mouth on hers. She put her arms around my neck and pulled so that it looked like I was leaning her back a little. I could hear Davey banging on the window and hooting. She tasted sweet, like raspberries. Soft too, her mouth was soft. I had a flash of memory, beer flavored and stubble scraping my chin. Better than raspberries.

We went inside, squeezed into the booth, where she sat on my lap. She didn't weigh hardly nothing.

This time, up at the lake, she got going enough to make me tell her to slow down.

"Aw, I wanna go on the road!"

"No way. You ain't that good yet, sweetie." I reached over and took the key out the ignition. She shrugged.

We smoked, listened to the radio, I told her about some work I'd done, souping the 'Bird. I guess she was bored 'cause she got a little sleepy. I put my hand on her arm to ask if she wanted to go home and she jumped about a mile.

"You okay?"

She looked scared, but she shook herself. "Yeah. Sorry..." And that's when she told me about the boyfriend. I felt for her. I mean, I can lay a punch with the best of 'em. You don't have three big brothers and not learn how to fight. And Davey gets us into some shit with hoods like Shepard from time to time. But hitting a chick just ain't cool.

No wonder we were good for each other right then.

I almost told her. About why I wasn't putting the hard word on her. Why she was safe. But I didn't. Oh, I'm sure she knew, she was too smart and the whole 'pretending' thing didn't make no sense if she hadn't worked me out. But what would I have said?

That the feel of his rough palms, calluses an' all, was all I thought about when I held her soft little hand, in front of the others?

That her raspberry lips weren't hard enough and she didn't have the muscles enough to slam me back into the wall of the stable, to kiss me until I had no breath and no will to stop what happened next?

Would I have told her that he was tall and hard and beautiful? That he made me feel alive for the first time, made me feel like _me _for the first time?

That he left the ranch when the contract ended and the wranglers moved on, without a word of goodbye?

And sometimes, if I was lucky, just as I woke up, I could still smell leather and Old Spice and sweat.


End file.
